Am I a bad person? 

Personal development is the pathway for a bright and beautiful world.

Have you ever questioned your "niceness"? Have you ever wondered whether the good side of your personality is only a facade? When you make mistakes do you judge yourself too much, almost to the point of hating yourself? Don't worry, all the people who are willing to improve themselves, often find themselves having such thoughts. Ironically, people who question themselves whether they are a bad person, usually evolve enough that they do not fit the general description of a "bad person" as long as they are answering themselves with utmost honesty. This brings me to ask you : What is your idea behind categorising someone as good or bad? (Please think and answer this before proceeding and keep your thought in mind while reading the rest of this article.)

As for me, in my eyes, I've been the best as well as the worst person I've ever known. And the habit of always looking into my own conscience at the end of the day, has made me realise that there are no absolutes in this world. No one and nothing is absolutely good or bad. This world isn't black and white, it is grey instead. And after a lot of contemplation and filling my heart with compassion, I finally concluded that it's true, people can definitely be categorised in a lot of ways but categorising someone as "bad" only depends on whether the person is truly willing to improve, do they take responsibility of their actions and whether their resolutions of self improvement are only a tactic of manipulation. 

A lot of times, I guess, even you would've chosen a rather negative approach to certain situations, either because - 

1. You were naive : You didn't know what you're doing is wrong or you didn't know a better choice for the given situation. Or

2. Because you had some wounds and fears which got triggered by the situation and you reflected them in your course of action : For example suppose you don't like your voice and you are super insecure about it, but you love to sing, and someone tells you to stop singing because it's annoying and you impulsively become mean to them. You'd be simply reflecting a wound you have, in your course of action. Or 

3. Because it was a situation wherein you had to be negative to prevent something even more negative from happening.

 In all these conditions, while retrospecting, if you blamed and hated yourself, please don't. In my eyes, in above said situations, you were never "a bad person", because as long as people accept their negative side and choose to work on themselves and get better, they are simply evolving, they are simply becoming wiser. No one is perfect by default. We learn from our experiences and grow with them. We are going to keep learning and growing everyday in our lives, so these little experiences do not make us a bad person. Be kind with yourself and allow yourself to have all kinds of experiences in order to grow. You're a very good person if you're willing to improve, and although at a small scale, but you are making this world a better place. 

( ◜‿◝ )♡

And like I said, people can definitely be categorised as bad. If a person is aware of their negative side and they do nothing in order to become better, then that person is usually considered a "bad person". According to me, if the person is all words and no action, if the person keeps repeating the same mistakes and makes excuses like "this is just who I am, take me as I am" and other kinds of bs then that person is either too stupid, or they are simply manipulative.

The manipulative kind of people are to be kept at a distance, they're deceptive, dishonest and almost always display a victim mentality. So most people get tricked by their deception and these manipulators take advantage of them. If you know someone whose behaviour matches this description, kindly make healthy boundaries. 

But as I said, the world is grey, nothing and no one is absolutely good or bad. So, even many of these manipulators aren't completely bad, they are just overly sensitive and overly protective people who cannot afford to accept the negativity in them because they've been so hurt, their confidence is so brittle that they can never see themselves in the wrong. Because to feed their brittle confidence they need to be right all the time. It's not their fault. And we'll talk about such people in another article. Until then, keep growing and be compassionate. Also tell me in the comments, What is your idea of categorising someone as good or bad?

🤍Love,

Charvi🌸