The Journey of Self Discovery

From the very day we come to this world, we try to figure out how it works and how shall we work in order to make it work. We spend most of our life trying to know, understand and learn anything and everything. But in the quest of figuring out everything around us, we miss trying to figure out ourselves.

After years of doing what everyone tells and "expects" us to do, suddenly it hits us, whether whatever we're doing even makes sense? Some continue to work towards the "promised future" which isn't even guaranteed. While others stop to contemplate, facing the big questions like, What is life? Why am I here? Who am I? The biggest and often the most ignored question being Who am I? Because the first one can be answered by anyone, we consider an intellectual, the second one can eventually be unveiled with time but the third one, not even the greatest, time, can answer this question. The only person to know that answer is us. Then why does this remain the question often ignored the most? Why does no one begin with figuring out themselves first?

It's because we are scared, we are scared to lose the identity given to us by everyone around us. We're scared that the person we truly are, might not be accepted and loved by people. We're scared to lose what is ours right now and the idea of what can be ours in the future as promised by everyone. But most importantly we're scared that may be even we might not like the person that we truly are. We're scared to explore the ugliest parts of us. We're scared that if we look within, our hypocrisy might be unveiled. We're scared that if we went any further within us, we might re-experience all the hurt that we once went through, which we somehow buried deep within so that no one finds out, so that even we don't revisit them as often as we once did. We're just scared. But for once if we walk past these fears and dare to see what's ahead, we start on the beautiful path of self discovery.

I'm sorry for calling it beautiful, I don't want my words to be misleading. The journey of self discovery isn't just beautiful, it is everything. Hurting, still healing, full of surprises, still familiar, ugly, still beautiful. We are the person we're going to spend our "forever" with. Our own very personal "forever". Someone you're going to spend a lifetime with, wouldn't you wish to be able to love this person? How can you love someone without even knowing them completely? 

All you need to do is, just sit with yourself. Treat yourself as an entirely different human (separate from you), and talk. If you don't know what to talk about or how to talk, may be start with asking "how are you?" or "how are you feeling right now?" Ah! there we go.... "feeling".

Feelings... Take a moment and ask yourself without reading further : "What's the first word or thought which comes to the mind when I see or hear the word 'feelings'?" (Please write down that thought or that word and whenever you have time to sit with yourself, ask yourself why was this the first word/thought?) When I was younger, the first word that used to come to my mind when I saw or heard this F word was another F word (the slang one) followed by "it's complicated". The reason was because when I was younger I didn't 'understand' feelings. And I'm sure many of you would find this relatable. Because I do expect that many of you mature readers are also as silly as I was. Silly? Yes. Silly because we have a habit of complicating even the simplest and most beautiful form of creations, and feelings being one of them. The point is, feelings are not to be understood when the feelings are your own. When the feelings are your own, they are only meant to be felt. Feel them as deeply as you can. Do whatever these feelings make you do. Then ask yourself why are you feeling this way? Ask as many questions as you want. Don't be overwhelmed by the intensity of how deeply you can feel because feelings are what make you count as a human being. Otherwise there exist robots. Be grateful for being able to feel. And do not restrict yourself for feeling just one kind of emotion. Do not be scared of facing the "negative" side of feelings. Feel the hatred, as much as you feel love; feel the anger as much as you feel gratitude; feel the sadness as much as you feel the joy, but don't forget to ask yourself "why?" And if somehow you're not able to correctly answer the "Whys" Know that these negative emotions are actually a reflection of the wounds you have within yourself. 

Because no one or nothing else, other than ourselves, holds the power to make us feel anything less than happy and blissful. Nothing can trouble you unless you decide for yourself to be troubled. I have already written an article on how to keep yourself happy no matter what's happening around you( please read that too) and that definitely suggests that the leash of how we feel is actually in our own hands and it doesn't depend on the situations or people around us. 

Feelings are simple and beautiful and knowing our feelings is the first step we take on the journey of self discovery. And it is also one of the hardest step because it exposes us completely and makes us vulnerable. But it is also the most beautiful because it then leads to the most beautiful journey that continues for a lifetime, the journey of Self Discovery.

After the first step, you become your own guide. Your heart guides you to the second step and all the steps that continue ahead. You'll eventually find out your deepest inner calling and I hope you'll have the courage to walk towards it. While walking you'll definitely stumble, you'll fall and may be you'll even feel like you have to start all over again, but that's okay, because this is the journey of a lifetime and this life is yours. You decide what to do with it. 

So if you decide to pursue this journey, all the very best. Bon Voyage. And if you have anything to tell me about this please feel free to comment ^_^

🤍Love

Charvi🌸