Chapter-2 Self Love

 Self Love

A cute vector art from

gstudioimagen

Recently emerging as a trend of the woke culture, I hope it doesn’t just remain a trend, I hope it does make a difference in the lives of everyone who gets influenced by this trending, woke culture topic of interest, “Self Love”.

A lot of people have tried to define self love, and to explain what it means to their peers. But actually, no one needs to define it, for its definition is very personal and may be unique to each individual, it is not something to be taught. It totally depends on us, in how many ways can we love ourselves.

 Each individual only needs to be guided towards self love, and they can handle the rest of it, themselves. But it raises a question, why do people need to be led towards self love? Why don’t we already like who we are? Why do we have to make so many efforts to simply accept ourselves, and be happy about our authenticity?

According to my observation, when we start exploring this world, we try to know how it works and, how shall we work in order to make it work. But in this exploration of the world outside of us, we neglect our personal world, the world which is within us, the world which is an intermingling of different feelings and perspectives, and we eventually lose track of it completely. We adapt to everything that others tell us, for example, right now, while you’re reading this, how many stances of mine have you questioned? If I hadn’t obstructed your reading with this previous question, I’m pretty sure, most people would’ve blindly adapted to my point of view without even contemplating on it or without even exploring the other faucet of everything I’ve said. And that’s the problem, that’s how bit by bit, we continue losing ourselves and adapt to something we’re not. Inquisitiveness shall always be followed by rationality. Inquisitiveness without rationality might add value to our IQ but it might never add value to our virtue. And sadly enough, today there are plenty of great, inquisitive minds but very few add rationality to it. Looking for reasons in everything, makes us realise and understand the “truth” about not just the outside world but ourselves too. In fact it helps us to create our personal balanced “truth” by mixing our inner world with the outer world, by mixing our senses with our very own perception. And we understand that our truth does not have to be somebody else’s truth, and no one should attempt to force their truth on another person, that’s why I do not want you to agree with me, instead I want you to look for the reasons in everything and create your very own, original reality that comes out as a result of this contemplation. 

When we know that our reality is not the truth forced on us by somebody else, instead it is something that we have gained out of the interior struggle of thoughts within us, we automatically develop a strong affection towards our personal truth. The truth of who we are and what this world is, in our eyes. We automatically fall in love with ourselves, the world (which is flawed but beautiful) and life. And this is exactly what self love is. When we realise how potent we are, being a part of the infinity, because infinity would never have been possible without its tiny little parts. Infinity is possible because of us being a part of it, and when we’re able to honour this truth for what it is. When we’re able to honour life, ourselves and the entire existence for whatever it is. Accepting and appreciating everything and everyone (including ourselves) just as it is. That, my friend, is self love.

Self love is alchemy, it magically changes everything. Suddenly everything that we would’ve been sulking upon forever, starts to seem as beautiful and precious, like we would’ve never expected. It is self love that helps us to see the beauty and magic in all the petty little things of the world. Self love gives life to the little kid in us which was originally sent to this world, to appreciate and enjoy everything with awe. Instead of trying to find happiness somewhere, it is self love that keeps us happy, no matter what situation we’re in. And it is also self love that allows us to acknowledge and honour every single feeling of ours, without any pretence, without needing to fake anything. It helps us to stay authentic always, no matter what.

It’s sad that only a little part of humanity has experienced this magic, because if not all, but even the majority of humans had experienced it, no one would wait for their death to visit heaven but heaven would be present here, among us. The world would’ve been kinder, more empathic, less judgemental and a lot more understanding.

 A lot of times self care is misunderstood for self love, but let me break it for you. Self care might be a part of self love, or it might be stemming from escapism. Often when we do not want to face a certain situation or feeling, we resort to escapism, like we try to sleep away our problems or binge watch a show or read a novel so that we forget about our feelings or circumstances but we do all these things to distract ourselves from the moment. Whereas, when we do the same things with a different attitude for example, we sleep to give ourselves a healthy, much deserved break and not to run away from a situation or feeling. That sleep is self care stemming from self love. If we fall in love with ourselves, we would never resort to escapism, instead we’ll be ready to face everything with utmost courage. Imagine being truly in love with somebody, would you run away from that person every time they come to you with a problem of theirs? Or would you embrace them, be their support, help them through it, or just stay there with them, however they like it. Same goes for you. You are the first person that you should be loving with such purity, no pretence.

Self love makes us feel worthy of literally everything that life can offer. It helps us to see that each experience, be it “bad” or “good” is precious and has its own importance, and we are important enough to realise each of their significance. When we love ourselves, we do not ignore our feelings or situations, instead we take the time to sit and feel every little passing emotion so deeply that our life as humans doesn’t go waste. Because it is both rationality and feelings that make humans more special than any other form of existence, and unfortunately, in today’s “progressive” world, we’ve left both of those factors behind.

I hope I’ve been able to give you a tiny feel of this alchemy, but if not, don’t worry, Self love isn’t a switch that we just turn on and suddenly start loving ourselves. Instead, it is the growth of every single day, when we let go of everything we’re not, and dig deeper into ourselves to find who we truly are. When we pay attention to all our scars and accept them, love them and heal them as time goes by. When we stop looking for somebody to save us from the misery and loneliness of life even after being surrounded by so many people, and start seeing the beauty in every moment, without complaining about how it doesn’t fit our expectations and instead we love it and enjoy it for whatever it is. When we feel good for wherever we are in our life, and feel confident enough to take charge and work for how we want it to be in future. When our emotions don’t feel messy but easy. We get there slowly, step by step. It is a process for our entire life. It is not an achievement, it is rather, a state of being. A lot of times we run back and forth on it but it’s okay. I hope all of us get there one day, so we can truly see the beauty of life, and no one has to regret on their deathbeds to have lived life a bit differently, maybe. 

🤍Love

Charvi🌸